jihanski

We only had one child, my wife often had miscarriage that’s why when she gave birth to our daughter, we made sure all attention is on her. I could say that we treated her like a princess, never set foot on soil, and wore silk socks to prevent insect bites. She grew up to be a fine lady, but she left us to purse medicine. She left us too early with nothing but our almost empty house.

One day my sister in law visited us with her 2-month old grand daughter, she told a story that ended up leaving the baby with us. The child is very sickly, maybe because she isn’t taking her real mothers milk, and care. During her early years  she almost died of high fever, but survived. We didn’t notice that years had already passed by. I made an audio recording while I was putting her to sleep, I asked what song she wants me to sing and she said Lupang Hinirang, I laughed really hard. At a very young age, her humor is already been odd. As far as I can remember, she already sleeps alone in her room and prepares her own breakfast, even for the fact that we always had a house help, she hates waiting. Seldom will you find this child in one place; she’s always moving and running around like a puppy.

I always have her on my side, because she hardly ever complains. I taught her to ride a bike and she surprised me with only few instructions. She runs up to me when I go playing tennis, she is notorious for taking away balls that lands in her corner, and I beat her for that. When I am repairing something- auto or house fix, name the tool and she knows it, from pliers to vise grips, up to the soldering lead that she enjoys consuming until the tool tip is busted. She never played dolls, or watched fairy tales; she would rather construct her own kite and fly it outside than comb a doll’s hair. If she needs something she waits for me at the door and takes my shoes off, and socks, and sit on my lap. She definitely asks when she needs something, not the type who will wait for others to guess. I remember how I comb her hair when she first went to kindergarten, until now she keeps the same hair line, combed leftwards. When I drop her to school riding a bike with side car, instead of me driving, she is the one peddling with me on the passenger side. She hates school; she made excuses like being sick just to stay home, play, and sleeps on her assignments that I always ended up finishing. Maybe it was my fault because I didn’t tell her that sometimes it’s good to be on top, I only told her that she only needs to learn how to read, write and count changes. But I put a small library in her room, I also let her receive the books that I ordered by mail, she always look forward to the freebies. Our hometown, more than 20 years ago takes 8 to 10 hours to be reached from Manila, but I am proud to say that I managed to have new books and magazines every month. I never scolded her for not being academically gifted, but I was never afraid that she’ll grow up stupid and senseless. I believe she read all the books that I bought, than me.

I am waiting for her to settle down and see the grandchildren but I never heard her speak of it. When she was in college she showed me a boy’s photo and made fun of it that he’ll make her cry- and I was right. Maybe she’s scared, or she lost her balls maybe from climbing summits or in one of her skin dives. We are quite used to her leaving the house knowing only how many days she will be away, no details, I’m sure she know what she’s doing and so far she gets home with no injury.

Maybe she really is the son that I never had.