jihanski

My days are still quiet. I may be calm but my head is spinning. Mom woke me an hour earlier than my alarm, forgive our mothers. I am scheduled to leave early today for what I consider the last wave of my retreat. I officially surpassed my promised one month rest. It’s been a while since I felt this peace, when I don’t have to worry about phone calls and internet. I used to feel tensed when my phone rings, even emails doesn’t feel good anymore, not that I hate technology, but you know when you are working it is pretty monotonous it’s going to be all about work. Now I feel happiest when my phone rings, even the kids at home when they give me the home phone, I feel hyper!

Today, aside from few texts and phone calls, I was switching books trying to finish just the other one. I can’t believe I brought three books with me, each I have read only few pages, I have this weird likeness of pulling books from shelves, scan few pages, then put it away. Going back to what I’m doing today, I was listening to my Spanish guitar playlist when my phone rang; it was my childhood friend Fred, calling from Pamplona, Spain. Few hours ago I saw his name near the cathedral congratulating him for his recent achievement in priesthood; I told the news and he finds it crazy. He said he called because he was waiting for his school service, leaving in three minutes. I asked if people can already confess sins to him and he said not yet, he needs further studies and vows to be able to do that, I found it a relief. So priesthood also needs certifications too, but of course they won’t call it that way, someone has to find a religious term for that.

I promised that I will go to the sea side and toss pebbles in the water, for him and me, remembering our childhood and the comfort that we find from doing that when you’re alone. We both know how it feels when you feel burdened and can’t find a release and by throwing stones, somehow it helps. I put characters in nature; I always considered the sea as feminine, and the wind representing men, I find it a mystery why I understand things easier when in front of them.