jihanski

Beauty in the World -- Macy Gray (World Cup 2010)

My days are still quiet. I may be calm but my head is spinning. Mom woke me an hour earlier than my alarm, forgive our mothers. I am scheduled to leave early today for what I consider the last wave of my retreat. I officially surpassed my promised one month rest. It’s been a while since I felt this peace, when I don’t have to worry about phone calls and internet. I used to feel tensed when my phone rings, even emails doesn’t feel good anymore, not that I hate technology, but you know when you are working it is pretty monotonous it’s going to be all about work. Now I feel happiest when my phone rings, even the kids at home when they give me the home phone, I feel hyper! Read the rest of this entry »

I don’t see it as an issue if people acquire knowledge more than what they need, the problem is when- once you have it you get stuck. You may identify how people did it, but their ability is different.  Resources are available to maximize learning, but not everyone absorbs the knowledge to develop a real ability. And when we try seriously, we learn that we cannot do it how we imagined it to be.

Take this example- before I learned how to identify colors or letters I am already exposed to tuning instruments- strings, air and even how to mix and balance equalizer (can’t recall how many times I got electrocuted). I don’t excel in music and art classes so I ended up not getting formal lessons in it. But when I hear a beautiful tune, I don’t stop until I play it well. I have a major problem with audience, see- I still don’t have the ability. They call it performance anxiety- I will soon be hitting a year mark immersing myself with musicians, I don’t expect if this is going to repair that ugly part of me but I know it will help.

There are times you just think about this. What have I done in my life? I do community service, I donate in small parts, I try to share every day- but do I need a legacy to have an achievement? I met and heard people say I understand, I understand, say the right things at the right time, but still many of them lives without achievement. I can’t be thankful because I’m young, but I’m thankful I met few of them.